Me. At least after what I've been through.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
