I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
