As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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