If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
