you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
