I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
