i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
