I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
