Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
pray to the hookup gods
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