So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My life is pants optional.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
