Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
