did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
