Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
