i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
