I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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