i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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