so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
