I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
