Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
