I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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