Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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