Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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