i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
