3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
