Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
