he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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