I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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