i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
