Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize