I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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