Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
