if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
