I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
