Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
