quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
