She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
