I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
