He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
