Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How does one acquire holy water?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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