I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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