lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
