just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
