hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
