i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
