This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
