Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I want to have your abortion
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
