who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She is in my trunk
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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