Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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