I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
