I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
