one two three fourrrrnication!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
